Who’s responsible?

I recently was assaulted with what I consider an odd concept.

The words spilled from one of my sisters as if it was just a simple fact that everyone should know.


The basic premise? “Those who have, should take care of those who don’t.”

Now, I have to say I both agree and disagree with that statement, and it all boils down to the parameters involved. Lines must be drawn, logic must be applied to each situation, and a reality check must be cashed.

Overall, yes, we need to provide support for the needy. Basic necessities should be covered. Basic – Housing, clothing, food, utilities, education… the basics.  End of story, period. No mention of luxuries. Cars, TV’s, cable, vacation, you name it, if it’s not required to survive, and not related to education, then it’s a LUXURY, and if you want it, you need to earn it yourself!

So, that out of the way, it really wasn’t what my sister was talking about, but I felt it had to be said, to ensure that you, the reader, knew I was not that cold-hearted!

The conversation started because 2 of my step-sisters are currently on the outs with each other because their side of the family is having a reunion in April, and one sister thinks that the two off them should be shelling out the money for this little shindig, while the other sister thinks everyone should chip in.

My sister, the one who I had the conversation with, is my half-sister, the two step-sisters and my half-sister have the same father. The reunion is not mine to be concerned with, but the basis for their disagreement is.

Some of us have worked our asses off our whole lives to get where we are. Studied hard in school, went on to college, or trade school, or just picked things up on our own. However we did it, we did it. We became successful in our lives, or at least rose above the adversity, and can live comfortably.

Some of us did not. Whether because we failed to apply ourselves, or our lives were just riddled with misfortune, we have very little, and do very little.


Are those of us who started on equal footing, with equal opportunity for betterment and advancement and who made the right choices, took the right chances, those of us who rose up, and did what needed doing, responsible for those who did not?


If you just said ‘Yes’, then you need to explain to me, Why?

Why am I responsible for working my ass off to provide for you?

Why should you get to sit on your ass and do nothing, and expect me to provide you with what you fail to provide yourself?


Did I miss something in school? Is there a clause in the contract of life that says if I should so choose, I can just sit back and have everything handed to me, with no effort on my part?

WTF? I must have been absent that day, because I wasn’t aware of this.


To those I offend with this line of thought, all I can say is, tough shit, get over it. We had the same parents, or at least a parent in common, step- or otherwise. We had the same general opportunities in life, were offered the same choices. We grew up in the same towns, went to the same schools, had the same teachers.


If I could come from our background and make a modest living, so could you. I figured out what I was good at, and did something with it.

I own my own home, or I will in 17 more house payments anyway. The cars are paid for, we eat well, and we dress nice. We go out to eat when we feel like it, without worrying about it. We buy the things we ‘want’ because we can, the things we need, we always have. My bills are paid on time, every time, no late fees, no shut-off notices.


As I said earlier, I worked my ass off to get to this point in my life, and I don’t think it’s my responsibility to pay your way too, because if I do, then something of mine has to be set aside, or delayed, and eventually I end up where you are. I didn’t put you there, you did. Just like I put me where I am.


You made your life, and it’s not fair of you to think that because I made something different of mine, that I should HAVE to share it with you.

If I CHOOSE to help out, that’s my CHOICE. A whole other matter there… but please, don’t ever tell me it’s my responsibility to support those who made bad choices, or worse, refused to make choices at all.

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